I stumbled onto the post An Open Letter to Every Man Who Reads a Womanâ€™s Blog via The Art of the Simple Life the first time I ever read that blog. It struck a chord with me and I ended up writing a 400+ word comment. I thought that comment would make a good blog post, so here it is, only slightly modified.
I haven’t been as active in the blogosphere as I used to be but this post did make me think. I completely understand your ‘creeper’ feeling.
I think there are a few of reasons guys are afraid to comment on women’s blogs.
1. One some guys are terrified to speak to women at all, and the more they admire them the worse it is. This is true for them in the real world, where they can talk all day with their guy friends but can’t put two words together with a female. It translates onto the Internet, where the often spend a lot of time.
2. Guys fear being labeled a creep because we feel a lot of women immediately attribute ulterior motives to any conversation we start with them. As a guy, if you start talking to the woman at the next table about the books she’s reading, you get at least a strong wariness, and sometimes barely veiled hostility, from the first word out of your mouth.
3. The other fear is the misconstrued word fear. Guys know in the modern age we are liable to say something completely innocently and get in trouble for it. This reaction also seems to be worse from women writers – which is logical because words have higher value to them. There is an example in this comment thread – though the female commenter was very kind in her response. But I’ve seen entire blog posts dedicated to blasting men for using the term “fangirl”. Often it is just easier not to comment than risk saying something that will get you rebuked.
4. When guys talk to guys, being rude is a sign of affection. We give each other crap because we know we are friends. We’d never do that to a guy we don’t like or know because then they are fighting words. But we know that’s not the kind of way you talk to women. And where on a guy’s blog a post might inspire sarcasm or jokes, on a woman’s blog that wouldn’t fly. If a guy spends most of his time interacting with men, he may be wise enough to know he shouldn’t post the first thing that pops into his head when reading a woman’s blog.
Thanks for the post Brian, obviously I felt strongly about it. ):
PS. I have no idea what that last emoticon actually means – it was a typo.